Funny Wedding Vows

If you’re writing your own wedding vows, you may want to create something totally original or create a twist on traditional vows that make them personal to you. You can keep the style elegant yet funny to not only show your love to your spouse on your wedding day, but to ease any tension or nerves. This makes your day unique and one that is remembered by guests for many years.
Your ceremony official may need to approve your vows before the big day. If you cannot use your own vows, consider incorporating humor into your wedding toasts instead. Start writing about a month before your wedding day so that you have the balance right to suit your ceremony and your guests. It’s best to leave out ‘inside’ jokes and anything to do with your sex life.
When writing funny vows, these can often play off each other so share and edit your vows so they flow well. When writing funny wedding vows, it’s best to aim for light-hearted rather than ‘fall on the floor laughing’.

Think of the characteristics your share and those where you are at polar opposites. Is one of you really messy and the other a neat freak? Do you follow the same band, sports team etc. that your guests know about.

Here are some ideas to inspire your own funny vows:

The Groom’s Vows

⚣ I promise to love you even when you refuse to let me watch the football, to cherish you even when you blow one week’s salary on yet another handbag, and to understand you even when you are at mad at me because of something that happened in a dream.

⚣ In front of our friends and family gathered here I promise to love and cherish you through good times and bad times. I promise to try to remember to put down the toilet seat and to replace the toilet roll when it finishes.

⚣ I promise to keep you warm when it’s cold outside and stand in the way of the sun when it gets hot.

⚣ I promise to love you as much as the White Sox and promise to retire my baseball cap and face paint for public outings.

⚣ I promise to love her, even when she sneaks new shoes onto the shoe rack proclaiming “they have been there for ages.”

⚣ I promise to use the car for the transportation of people and not motorbike spare parts.

⚣ I promise to give you my undivided attention, as long as there is no football on TV.

⚣ I promise to accept that you will cry at literally any content found on TV or YouTube, even adverts.

⚣ I promise to adore and encourage your wonderful singing voice.

⚣ From this day forward I promise to be worth it. Worth the time. Worth the trip. Worth the energy. Worth the embarrassment. Worth your love. I promise that you will always count. You will always come first, and of course, if you don’t for whatever reason, I will buy you some chocolate and flowers.

⚣ From the moment you entered my world, you have filled it with life, color, and energy like never before…like a cupcake in a salad.

The Bride’s Vows

⚢ I promise I will only show you my new clothes during commercial breaks and promise.

⚢ From this day forward, I will make sure your lucky shirt is washed for every game day, and will have plenty of beer on hand.

⚢ In front of our families and friends, I promise to learn how to change a tire and how to refill the screenwash.

⚢ I promise to comfort you when your team loses and drink beer with you when they win.

⚢ I promise I will try to love Motley Crue as much as you do, and will even dress up in 80’s clothing and see a live concert with you without complaint.

⚢ I promise to keep the house relatively clean, except on ‘Googlebox’ nights. I will give you full reign of the remote control otherwise. For this is my promise to my one true love and partner for life.

⚢ I promise to love him as much as I love my shoes.

⚢ I promise to embrace his love of survival programs even when it means I can’t leave the house until I know how to escape quicksand.

⚢ I promise to shoot you in the head if you are ever bitten by a Zombie.

⚢ I promise to tell him he is handsome.

⚢ I promise to be his cheer squad even when it means being there at 6am.

⚢ I promise to never keep score, even when I am totally winning.

⚢ I promise to devise an evil plan to try and steal the moon for you.